Winding down

I woke on Christmas morning to this strange and beautiful sight:

Christmas Morning comes to my door, 7:00 AM

Which, happily, became this:

Sagg Main Beach, Sagaponack, 11:30 AM

It was raining by sunset, though. I had some help with my last-minute wrapping before heading out the door:

And then I had a lovely Christmas Day with J and her family...

Even the camera was tired by 8:30 PM

...and a quiet, relaxing Boxing Day in my own little home. I am still struggling to recover from the last push at work, so I need some quiet hours at home with Miss Annabelle, Comfort Knitting, and some good music. Thanks to J, I have this new-to-me artist to enjoy.

~:~

This week between Christmas and the New Year is always a reflective time for me, and I can feel myself begin to settle inward, to wrap myself up in my own thoughts. I try to tune out the external chatter, to become quieter and slower on purpose. It's a time for breathing deeply, and doing nothing too demanding.

I cast on a new pair of socks last night, even though I told myself I would wait. They're going to be the definitive Happy Feet socks. I did a little online yarn crawl, too, ordering a few skeins of Socks That Rock and some Fleece Artist Merino. It's Cara's doing; she posted a beautiful picture of some Fleece Artist yarn, and that gave me ideas...

I'm looking forward to a nice long winter of knitting socks and maybe a sweater, of spinning silk and merino and a little bit of cashmere, and of making room for the real Rick Reeves wheel that I decided I get to have after all.

It's time

"Love came down at Christmas,

Love all lovely, Love divine;

Love was born at Christmas,

Star and angels gave the sign."

Christina Rossetti

It's time to put up the little tree, drape the lights, and arrange the ornaments. It's time to smile and remember what these treasures mean -- this little sheep was my mother's when she was a little girl, as was the blown glass ball -- and they represent love and family to me.

It's time to celebrate the Solstice and the return of the sun. It returns ever so slowly, it seems, as winter is just beginning. Winter is for peace and quiet, for knitting and spinning, for looking inward and making plans.

It's time to let the frenzy recede, though only in my own heart, because the next few days at work will be anything but calm and peaceful. I say I am taking the day off today, but that's not true. After I post this I'll be on my way to the store to order books. Silver Spoon Cookbook, if I can get any. Illustrated Elements of Style. Tasha Tudor's version of Night Before Christmas. Anything else? Oh, I'm sure there is a long, long list.

It's time to say Thank You to all of you who read this, who have shared your knitting and your lives through your writing, who have made me laugh out loud, who have opened your arms and hearts to me this year, and who have become my dear friends.

It's time to sing and dance and celebrate with loved ones near or far -- with nog or cider, with too much chocolate or too many cookies (or both). Off we go, then!

~:~

Edited at 5:30 pm to add: The phone rang as I was deep into decorating the tree (I've gotten as far as lights, and antique tiny shiny things, and the handmade stuff is next). It was my so-called "not obsessed about knitting" sister, reporting that she was just in Stitch DC buying some mohair for a scarf, and she found "something called Noro." Need I say more? Oh, and I already sent her a copy of At Knit's End for Christmas.

Come into my parlor...

...said the spider to the fly. It began innocently enough. Here's part of an email from my sister:

"I grabbed some yarn on impulse at Michaels yesterday...I want to do skinny scarves for my book group. Or do you have a pattern? E."

Then the real journey began:

"...found another skinny scarf pattern that’s my old favorite...big needles for a lacy look...just want skinny with some texture...Am I getting on your nerves yet? E."

There was a bit of back and forth, a couple of phone calls, some progress, and:

"After messing around, I am progressing with the pattern you gave me...looks good, so I’m going to make a scarf for myself. I decided it’s too ambitious to make six scarves by Dec. 21 after not having knitted for 20 years. I’ll never be ambitious about it, but it’s fun anyway...E."

Within ten days, we were almost there:

"I am beginning to understand how you can get hooked on this knitting stuff. In trying to find patterns on the Internet for a dog sweater, I found my way to The Knitting Garden, and I want to make everything—scarves, a purse, different little wraps. And some of it isn’t very hard, so it’s not threatening. Forget sweaters, though—too risky! Time for a conference call. I need a new headset so I can knit while talking. :) E."

And finally, we have arrived at our destination:

"No, I have not been knitting during work hours."

I love my sis. She's funny and smart and the Best big sister. But she'd probably kill me if she knew I was posting the evidence of her latest addictive obsession little pastime for all the world to see (nobody tell her, okay?). When the spider (that would be me) catches the fly (that would be her) she wants to share the good news.

My own knitting? A sock heel here, a washcloth there. Nothing major, but all good. I need to get going on the Christmas shopping, though -- right now, today. What makes me think I can bend time? Eleven days is eleven days, and I'll be spending eight of them at the store helping other people with their shopping. I have a tree to put up, festivities to attend, and cards to make (yeah, like that will happen), and the last time I checked it was December 14th.

Visions of...

...sugarplums? Or two poufy silk jewelry pouches for two sweet R's who have just turned twelve (and have had their ears pierced).

~:~

I've just had the best online yarn-buying experience. I decided to order some hemp yarn after all, so I headed over to kpixie for a few balls of Hempton and some AllHemp6. I ordered a pattern for a bag, while I was at it. This was on Wednesday morning, and he box arrived on Friday morning! I've read about the great service that Jessica and Missa provide, but this was more than great. I'm going to become an instant-gratification girl if this keeps up. I started this yesterday:Hempton is nice yarn: 50% hemp, 50% cotton. We'll see how it does for a washcloth. I'm knitting this one on size 3 needles because the yarn just seems to want it that way. I began making a bag, too, but there's not enough to show off yet. The AllHemp6 is a bit hard on my old hands, so I can't work with it for extended periods, but it's knitting up nicely.

~:~

My hands are worn out from work anyway, and I have to remind myself that they can use a rest now and then. My whole self could use a rest, but with two weeks till Christmas, there's not much chance of that. I'm pacing myself, and trying to put as many quiet moments into each day as I can manage.

Today will be a puttery day. I seem to be in the middle of about five sorting and tossing projects, all in different corners of my apartment. It has to be done sometime, and if I want to make it Christmasy around here I have to clear some space.

So on with the Christmas CD's -- Emmylou Harris' Light of the Stable, George Winston's December, Shawn Colvin's Holiday Songs and Lullabys, and A Charlie Brown Christmas, of course! And there's a party over at J's tonight, because two R's have to celebrate, you know.

Cause for celebration:

I finished something! Not only that, I like it. And it looks just the way I wanted it to look. The main yarn is Manos Multi-Color in "Woodland." The cuff, toe, and heel are Manos Semi-Solid in "Olive." I decided to switch the colors (I don't know why I thought that I had to make the main color solid, when the multi-color is so beautiful). I gave it the spotlight it deserved, and I'm happy. This version is cuff-down, and has an after-thought heel. I used size 7 double-pointed needles and cast on 52 stitches. Easy-peasy!

I'm ready for Santa to do his thing. And I feel a lot better now that I've given myself this present!

And speaking of gifts, the KR Sock Yarn Round Robin made its way to my mailbox! Lella sent this wonderful ball of Meilenweit Fun:

I'll have a hard time resisting it for now, but it's nice to know that it will be there when it's dark and dreary and I need a knitting boost. I am determined to work on my other unfinished socks, a bit at a time, until they are closer to completion. Only one pair is for a gift, and they're almost done, so my determination won't have to last very long.

This little KR project has been so much fun. I sent some yarn to Jayme -- it wasn't too hard to plunge my arm down into my sock yarn stash and come up with something I thought she might like. It was Lorna's Laces in the "Bucks Bar" color.

We had another, heavier snowfall on Monday night. It was very cold and windy yesterday afternoon, and my fingers nearly froze when I got out of the car to take this picture of Noyac Bay:

Those waves are wind-driven. It was bracing, I tell you, absolutely bracing. I could hardly breathe, but I stayed there long enough to turn around and get this:
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I am so fortunate to live in a place like this. This particular place, Long Beach, is on the way to Sag Harbor and my PO box. Every single time I drive by this spot I am grateful -- for the extraordinary character of the ever-changing light, for the sweeping curve of the rocky shoreline, for the beautiful colors of the water and the sky. I am always wishing I had my camera with me. Yesterday afternoon I did.

First snow and two treats

What a surprise this little snowfall was! It was still dark when I let Miss Annabelle have a peek out the door, and it's been snowing steadily up till now, when it seems to be changing to rain. The little finials on my railing always remind me of people, especially when they are wearing snow hats.

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments about my last post. It's good to know that I have so many knitting kin. I've managed to stop careening (ramming into a brick wall will do that) long enough to step back and breathe (thank you, Martha), pare down the list and set a few goals (thank you, Cindy and Amie), and try not to let it get to me (thank you, Laura).

It has always been one of my creative goals to knit -- or spin, paint, weave, cook, whatever -- what feels right (thank you Margene), so here's my First Treat:I bought some Manos and began to make myself a new Christmas stocking. With this one giant sock I can have it all -- a fast knit with nice yarn and a lovely Christmas stocking to replace the really ugly one I have now. I'm using new techniques, too -- it's toe-up and will have an afterthought heel. Can't pass up an opportunity to learn something new, can I? I'm hoping that giving this gift to myself will make the holidays a little bit easier to take, too. I'm too hard on myself, and I'm working on changing that.

I've made a little progress on my Jaywalker sock. I'm not a complete Jaywalking Fanatic like some people, but I think I like this sock. It's working now that I'm using Koigu instead of STR. Sorry, little skein of Moss Agate, you'll have to wait for another pattern.

So I don't think I'll do too much today besides some giant sock/therapy knitting. Out in the world, I mean. I see a snowy day off as an opportunity to curl up and watch movies and knit. I'm still recovering from yesterday, when we did a huge book event at a local school. I spent the day bent over a table, writing out credit card numbers and book titles -- which could have been awful, but for my Second Treat: I got to sit near an icon for most of the day. She and her daughter, both well-known children's book authors, are very nice and extremely generous with their time. I came home with a tired back and sore tootsies, but I'll live.

Just a step at a time

That's all I can do, and that's all that it takes. I will be learning this lesson well into my next twelve lives, I suppose. Here's my thought: all this knitting dissatisfaction, all these balls of yarn attached to little bits of random knitting, all these needles stuck in big blobs of knitting, are a sign. The sign says Settle Down. I have been careening again.

I have no pictures of knitting progress to share, because there hasn't been any progress. Well, I do have the cuff of a Jaywalker sock, looking good so far in Koigu on 2.5mm needles. But no picture. I have one finished washcloth, which might end up being mine because all of a sudden I have an urge to knit with hemp, and I think hemp might make a spectacular washcloth. Linen would work, too. I have no hemp, and no linen either. Oh, dear, it looks like I'll have to drive to the North Fork and see if the yarn shop has some (of course I could call and inquire, but that would be sensible, and I need a yarn shop fix anyway). If not, I'll order it this afternoon.

See where this is going? All over the place, that's where. And in the car, too.

I will declare right here that this is what I want to do:

• Finish V's other sock (I'm almost to the heel flap). She deserves to have toasty toes while she's feeding her chickens on cold winter mornings.
• Keep Jaywalking, because I want to get to the point where I can tell if this one will fit. If it doesn't, I'll make some more adjustments.
• Swatch some Manos for a revised Wildflower sweater. V-neck pullover, raglan or drop shoulder. Whichever. That yarn is beginning to bug me to do something with it, something besides the lumpy sweater I started in the spring.
• Start spinning some of the delicious fibers I purchased this year. Spinning gives me knitting ideas, anyway. I have no grand plans for any of it yet; it needs to be explored first. And wouldn't it be lovely to explore it on a Real Rick Reeves wheel? Oh no, not that again! Save that wish for the New Year!
• Knit mindlessly. If I go with this washcloth idea, in hemp or not, I only need to make four of them. That's just a few DVD's worth of knitting, tops.

This is what I do not want to do:

• Fuss or fret over anything Knitting. I have enough Life and Work stuff to fuss and fret over.
• Attempt to do any Christmas knitting that is not as simple as a washcloth or a scarf. Even the scarf option is dangerous.

~:~

I have some emails to write to some knitting friends who have been patient for too long, but I have a problem:

She's as good an excuse as any, I suppose. Really, there's no excuse. I'm typing now, aren't I, even though I keep having to shove a rather large head out of my way? I would like those knitting friends to know that I love them, and that I'll tell them so real soon.

~:~

P.S. I just visited Margene's blog and what do you think she has to say today?

"Use knitting time as a way of reconnecting with yourself and to find quiet,
contemplative time during this season of mania. Be good to you!"

All righty, then!

Is it over yet?

Well, it is for me. I have the day off. I was tempted to get out there and do some shopping, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm not talking about Christmas shopping -- I need the basics, like TP and coffee. I don't do the CrazedHolidayShopper thing anyway. Since I spend most of my time on the receiving end of the craziness, I have developed some very strong opinions about people who seem to enjoy being herded and manipulated by the Christmas Shopping Machine.

Thanksgiving weekend shopping at the bookstore has a very different vibe. Yes, it's very crowded. Yes, there are a few crabby, unhappy people (most of them are overindulged children). For the most part, it is a pleasure to watch customers browse and discover that perfect book for someone they love, or to help them narrow down their choices. I love to hear that we are the Best Bookstore, that we are the Most Knowledgeable Staff, and that we Always Have the Book They Need. It's all true, and it can't be said about Amazon, or B&N, or anybody else except another independent bookstore. You'll never hear a little boy walk into B&N and declare, "Do you smell that smell? It's books that haven't been read yet!" Oh, I do love my work.

~:~

Gobble, gobble.

I have no Thanksgiving pictures worth sharing, except this silly plate of appetizers. We cooked and cooked, and timed and retimed, and when the turkey had to go back in the oven for another hour because I miscalculated something, J and I accepted defeat. I went downstairs for a little cry, she washed some dishes, and nothing was the same after that. Dinner, when it finally happened, was delicious. But we were done. Done in. Over it. Ready to move on.

~:~

Knitting? Something has gone wrong there, too. I have been too tired to do anything satisfying or right. My Jaywalker sock had to be frogged (it would have fit someone, just not me). My scarf in Brooks Farm yarn that looks like pansies went the way of the sock (it just didn't thrill me), and I haven't found the right stitch or pattern yet. I started another Jaywalker in Koigu KPPPM, on larger needles, to see if that will make a difference. I decided to make washcloths for all the women at work, and I have some lovely little soaps to go with them, so I started one of those. That's working out -- mindless knitting is what I need right now, since I think I lost my mind this week.

So today, lovely quiet day that it promises to be, I will rest and refill the well. I'll knit mindlessly, watch movies, do some laundry, and that's that. I have a busy month ahead of me, and I need a day like this.

Oh, and I can't forget to say this: I am a grateful woman. I have a job that I love, a sweet little home shared with a sweet fur person, dear family and old friends, precious-beyond-measure new friends, knitting that saves me, and the prospect of being able to say this again next year. The Thanksgiving holiday is a bittersweet one for me, but I know that the bits and bouts of sadness that I feel mean that I've lived to tell the tale, and that's got to be a good thing.

Girls Knit

Well, they're on their way. The first R loves her handspun yarn, and thought she'd invented a new way to knit. She was disappointed when I told her that she was knitting Continental, but I was pretty impressed, since I'd showed her American! The second R kept measuring and measuring. Three inches just didn't seem right, but that's a lot, considering all the fun and silliness that went on around the table. By the end of the afternoon (long after dark, really) they were tired, but happy and proud. Me, too.

Spun, plied, washed, dried...

...and finished just in time for Girls' Knitting Afternoon! I think the R will like it, too. The other R will get some handspun from me sooner or later, when I am inspired by something she would like. Everything must balance in the world of twins, you know, especially when you're the Auntie to two Incredible R's.

I stuck the little ribbed top of my Jaywalker sock in the picture, just because. I can hardly say I've started, but I do have this much to show. I love this color, this Moss Agate that's all green and purple and best of all deep golden orange. I'd like enough of it for a sweater, please.

I don't know what this Knitting Afternoon will hold, beyond the fun, that is. I am going to teach the R's to knit, and it seems like just yesterday -- not twelve years ago -- that I was knitting two little lace hats for Baby A and Baby B in anticipation of their arrival.

~:~

I went out early to get apples and cheese and most of the other do-dads I'll need for my part of the Thanksgiving dinner. I spend the day with J and her family, since I can't usually get away to be with my own family, and J and I cook and chatter all day. I've added some of my own traditions to the gathering -- we use my grandmother's white linen tablecloth, and make my mother's cranberry relish, and until this year, my mother has made the trip up here from Maryland. She's not able to do that any more. I used to stress about her visits (oh, the story is a loooong one), but not having her here now just makes me sad. I'll need the laughter and the cooking and the knitting-while-the-turkey-cooks (because you can be sure we'll want to get in a little practice!).

~:~

It's time to pack up the yarn and the needles and the books and the camera. Off I go!

Jaywalking!

I've joined the Jaywalker Knitalong over at Cara's blog. How could I resist? There'll be a drawing for a skein of Socks That Rock! It's a nice pattern, and Cara's STR versions show off the yarn and the design quite nicely. I'll be making my pair with a gorgeous colorway called Moss Agate, which was part of my embarrassing haul modest purchase of yarn from The Fold at Rhinebeck.

I'm cranking along on the second sock for V, so I guess I can handle another sock or two. I need to get spinning, though, or I won't have any, much less enough, California Red for the Sweet R. Oh, drat! Time is not on my side.

~:~

Most of the books in my pre-emptive mega-order have arrived at the store, so I feel like I can relax just a little. However, I spent a good part of the day in the basement, hauling stuff around so there'd be room to store the mega-order, and I did myself in. Which do I prefer, stress or pain? Is there a difference? Motrin and a rest will help, but will there be any knitting? Hmmm...

At least the model was cooperative

I tried to take an arty yet illustrative shot of my NewBeginningsProject Scarf, but it's just too cloudy and windy out there. This is it, though, in all its glory. I wish you could touch it; it's soft and drapey and well, silky. And it smells so good, too (I really love the smell of silk).

I did a little more California Red spinning this morning. I hope I get enough done by Sunday, so I can give it to the R who wants to knit with it. I love my Ashford, I really do. I've rarely felt the desire to have something BiggerBetterFaster. The possibility of K's Real Reeves, though? It has me going. I guess I'd better find out how much money I need to save.

There was a knittin' thing over at the library today, a sort of festival/meet-up/show-and-tell. Most of my knitting circle was there, and many more who'd heard about it through the grapevine. H, who dreamed it up and coordinated it (as she has most of the local knittin' things), put together a nice program and collected lots of little prizes to draw for, and everyone had a lot of fun. This is the same group of knitters that has caused me to moan and groan in the past, but I have to take some of it back. I'm learning to like them, and they seem to like me. I guess we just needed to get to know each other, and I know I needed a little bit of an attitude adjustment. Today was a lot of fun, and I'm looking forward to our regular meeting tomorrow. Oh, and I won a little pair of scissors and a bar of sweet soap!

~:~

I am waiting for the weather to do something. It's been in the sixties for two days straight, hardly dipping at night, even. I want to wear scarves! Wooly socks! Sweaters! I want to wear layers! Is that too much to ask of the end of November? Hardly! The blustery wind signals the beginning of the change, though. When I get the Weather Migraine I'll know for sure.

~:~

Thanksgiving is in just one week! In my bookstore world, that means I'm really busy and stressed, and I'm sure that I'll forget to order something important. Every year I have a moment when I experience a Book Failure. I turn to the staff, stricken, and tell them that they'll have to take orders for copies of my Failure, and I am so, so sorry, but who knew that whatever it is would actually get good reviews and be featured on Oprah, or that the news of its fantastic-ness would reach us after the shipping deadline? They have learned to put up with me, to help me by searching the basement for a missing copy or twelve, and to tell me it's okay, nobody really wants to read that book anyway.

This year will be different: I have pre-emptively mega-ordered all the books that will go out of stock before Christmas [Hey, Rachel, Random House says they are going to run out of Bedside Book of Birds!], I've anticipated trends by scouring the New York Times, and I've made sure that I consult C, the buyer and general manager, every ten minutes or so. Well, not really, but I have been working hard to prevent Book Failure. I am actually pretty good at what I do, and I do know it, which is why the staff humors me during the Holidays. Or maybe it's because I give them gifts...

A floral offering and a bit of knitting

Isn't this beautiful? It's the first time this little Christmas Cactus has bloomed -- it was given to me last year by the Thoughtful R's, and I've done my best to care for it properly (actually, I was just trying to keep it alive). The flowers are just gorgeous, and there are buds on every leaf tip.

~::~

Here's some of what I've been doing with my Sunday: I'm spinning up my California Red roving so that one of those R's can learn to knit with a reminder of her favorite Rhinebeck sheep. I'd almost forgotten what it feels like to spin "thick" yarn. I figure that this will ply to something like light worsted, and it will suit a beginner. I find myself sitting down to spin for a few minutes, then getting up to do something else, like this:

I finally came up with just the right combination of pattern and yarn for V's socks. It only took me two years...

The yarn is Cherry Tree Hill Supersock in the Martha's Vineyard colorway, and the pattern is Erica Alexander's Cable Rib Socks from IK Spring 2005. I've only gotten as far as the heel flap on the first sock, but that's good; I've re-started these socks at least three times, never getting beyond the first two inches.

It was the Lantern Moon DPN's. They were calling out to be used, so I responded. I've wanted a set for a long time, and I got them at the Retreat. These are US 1's; by the time I realized that I'd be a fool not to get some US 2's as well, both vendors were sold out. That'll teach me. Impulses are to be heeded! More needles = more socks! It's all about the socks!

I finished my New Beginnings Scarf (Bess has her NBS, too, only it's a beautiful sweater) and it's blocked and drying. Silk takes a long time to dry. A really long time. Especially when it's boucle (lots of silkiness there, you know). I'm trying to be patient, but it's hard. I'm thrilled with how it turned out -- it's more than six feet long, and just four inches wide, so it wraps and drapes to perfection. I'll post a picture if it ever dries...

So here's my plan: [I do keep making plans don't I? I mean well, and I'm earnest enough, but my follow-through stinks.] Anyway. I'm going to work a little bit every day on some of the beautiful but neglected projects (like V's socks). I'm not going to give myself a hard time about them, because I don't have any deadlines. I'll just knit along on This and That, and keep planning the reincarnation of my Manos Wildflower sweater. It might need to be something as simple as a v-neck pullover, and stockinette from one end to the other. I don't want to fight the beautiful colors, but I don't want to look like a giant sno-cone either.

I guess I really am a Process Knitter. I leave a trail of unfinished pieces behind me, but I'm having fun and learning a lot. I do finish things eventually, I've realized, so there's no reason to panic like I did in the summer. I'm over that phase. My stash isn't out of control, but there's enough there to satisfy most of my knitting urges. I want to spend more time spinning, and playing with all the lovely fibers that I've accumulated lately.

That brings me to my deepest, darkest desire of the fiberly kind: I really want to think about buying K's Reeves wheel because he might be wanting to part with it, and it's the most beautiful thing in the world, and it was made by Rick Reeves Himself, and K has taken such good care of it, and every time I go to his house it's there, sweet and golden, and when I stayed at K's last week it was in my room and I swear I heard it say something to me (or it might have been the little boy scaredy-cat, but I think it really was the wheel). However, I have much to consider before acting on this desire, like space (of which I have none, even for another spinning wheel), and cost (because while K is generous, he is not a fool).

Go ahead, you can think it -- it's not like I don't know it already: I'm a goner.

No, not exactly. The considerations are really very important, and since I know that K has no deadline, I get to take my time.

KR Retreat Part Two (in which Jane Gets On With It)

I returned to work on Tuesday to find the following note attached to the cash register:

Welcome to my world.

I've been reading and enjoying all the KR threads and blog posts about the Retreat. Everyone has written so well about the beautiful weather, the mountain setting of Graves, the delicious food (and Nathan!), and the knitterly companionship that was inspired by Clara. The longer I'm home, the more I realize what an extraordinary experience I had.

• We saw many, many beautiful and innovative garments created by knitters of all levels of experience.
• We listened to tales of inspiration and knitting triumphs (as well as some nightmares).
• There were as many knitting styles in the room as there were knitters, and it was fun to compare techniques.
• Spinners were born, at wheels and with spindles, and with laughter all around (laughter seems to melt the frustration).
• Everywhere I turned there were knitters in twos and threes, heads bent over projects, conversations rising and falling (mostly rising; the decibel level was intense!) as they worked away on everything from swatches to socks.
• Through it all wound Clara, who I'd see somewhere else in the room every time I looked up.
• Sunday morning's "New Beginnings" session, when we wrote a letter to ourselves, sealed it, and placed it in Clara's care, was the most emotional part of the Retreat for me. I wonder what I will think when I open the envelope next year? The little blue scarf in the photo below is the project I began then, when we got to go around the room and have everyone knit a few stitches. If there's a better way to remember this special weekend, I don't know what it could be.
• The overflowing bin of knitting for the Dulaan Project inspired me to continue making hats and scarves to send all though the year.
• Clara's yarn talk was perfect. And I thought I knew yarn...
• The toe-up sock class that was taught by Sheila was enough to get me to re-think my next pair. Why, I'll never run out of Socks That Rock yarn if I start at the toe!
• The Saturday afternoon marketplace, and Jen's Sunday trailer sale, provided me with some lovely treats! Knitter's Review Boutique goodies, Targhee/Alpaca/Silk/Cashmere roving, CVM combed top, Silk boucle yarn for a scarf, and a set of Lantern Moon Ebony DPNs.

~:~:~

It's time for me to re-enter my own world now. There's the usual Wednesday list of errandy things, Annabelle needs some comfort (she does not have fun when I am away), and my little home is a big mess. I have lots of knitting and spinning to do, too. At the top pf the list: spin some California Red for one of the dear R's to learn to knit with next weekend.

KR Retreat Part One (in which Jane Gets Over It)

Imagine that you are a slightly apprehensive person (see previous entry) who is about to embark upon a Knitting Adventure. Your day begins badly on several other levels (the apprehension thing is easy in comparison), and you spend much of your day reasoning and sorting and sniffling and Getting Over It, but you must do it in the car, along with all the other cars crammed onto Route 66 on Friday afternoon. You drive and drive and drive, managing to become more excited, less distressed, and less apprehensive with every mile, and you end up here:

Graves Mountain Lodge, Sunday morning

You spend much of your time on this Knitting Adventure doing something like this:

Knitting on the porch at the Knitter's Review Retreat

You spend the remainder of your time laughing your you-know-what off and being fed large meals consisting mainly of apples and carbohydrates. Why in the world would you want to come home?

~:~:~

Not a fair question. I am happy to be home. I am pretty happy, period. I'm still processing all the wonderful experiences I had with the fabulous KR knitters, so I'll post more over the next few days.

I wish I'd taken lots of pictures, but I didn't. I met so many people who were on my "Oh, I'd Love To Meet Her!" List that my head is spinning (Ha! A pun!), and so many who I just got lucky enough to spend a little time with. My roommate was a real gem (Double ha! Another one!) and I am so happy that Clara paired us up.

I came home a better knitter, a happier spinner, and a renewed Jane. I made new friends who I already cherish. I have some lovely new fiber to spin and yarn to knit. I can't ask for more than that.

But then I stop

At this rate I'll be knitting this scarf for the rest of my life, or at least until sometime next year. I think I want to rip it out and start over. The pattern isn't the best choice for the yarn, it turns out -- not enough drape, too much manipulation needed. I keep losing a stitch at the edge of the cable because the yarn is just so slippery. Knitting is supposed to be fun, right? And relaxing? And I am a strong advocate of the "choose the best yarn/pattern for the pattern/yarn," aren't I? Yeah, it's history.

I woke up at 4:06 this morning. Four-oh-six! At first, I was just running Retreat scenarios in my head, pleasant meanderings that were nice to dream about. Then my weary but overactive brain moved on to Retreat Nightmare scenarios: What if they find out I am really just a crappy knitter? What if I say or do something outrageously stupid, or what if -- horror of horrors -- they just don't like me?

I freely admit that in the wakeful wee hours of the morning I am apt to encounter my scared, insecure ten-year-old self, the Jane I have to step over every time I am in a new place, or I am unsure of my bearings. I would like to say that I laugh at her, at her little voice, those blue pointy glasses, at her wacky unruly hair...but in truth, she lives in my house and I love and respect her because she reminds me of how far I have come.

She's the uncomfortable-looking blonde one.

So what do I do? Get up and make the coffee. Decide that this scarf is not the delight I thought it was going to be. Think about something else (the Work Nightmare scenarios are always available, and they are more likely to be real). Get on with the day. At this point the sun is rising and the trees outside my window are beginning to glow. The heat is coming on, and I am about to get another cup of coffee. I am getting ready to go off to work, to another Tuesday filled with books. Tomorrow, though, I'll get ready to leave on my little trip. On Thursday I'll see V and visit my mother. On Friday I'll bring my Old Jane with me to Graves, but maybe I can convince her to wait in the car.

I just have to be starting something

Instead of starting all the things I really need to do before I leave on Thursday morning, I've spent a good part of the day on this...

...a nice little scarf in my pansy-colored Brooks Farm yarn.

I began by thinking how efficient I'd be if I wound a few skeins of yarn into balls before I put the swift and winder away. Good idea, but several skeins later I was still winding, not cleaning or laundering or doing anything that's on my mile-long list.

I really, really wanted to start knitting with this yarn, and I've been thinking about what I'd like it to look like for about a week. None of my ideas worked, though. Too fussy, not enough stitch definition, too open...

This isn't the easiest yarn to choose a stitch for, because even though it's soft as can be, it's still mohair, it's long-stapled and inelastic, and each stitch seems to be poised to slip off the needles if I'm not careful. So I ended up casting on for another Here and There Cables scarf, like the one I made with my handspun last month. It looks completely different, and the pattern fits my requirements for a semi-mindless knit that lets the yarn and the pattern complement each other, just as they should.

Then I found this in a drawer...

...some yarn I spun a looooong time ago!

On the left is "Amethyst," a Moonflower Studios blend from oh, back in 1991 or so. On the right is yarn from my Favorite Fleece of All Time, a Lincoln-Corriedale ram named Bomfit. Imagine that -- they have been in a bag in that drawer for six years, just hanging out with nothing to do! I'll have to do something with them now, won't I?

It's almost time to choose the road music, pack the trail mix, and gas up the old CRV for the trip to the Retreat. I can't believe that I'm taking actual vacation days! For a Road Trip! To meet KR Friends! I'd say I'm beside myself, but I'm really not. I am just eager and happy and looking forward to everything. I'm taking Wednesday off, too, so I can have a day to get ready without rushing.

Finished...and with yards to spare!

Heeeere's Carbon! All done. I took a picture of a damp sock because I don't know what the weather is planning to do later today, and I didn't want to miss out on the good light. The pair matches pretty well (practically self-striping, Amie!), and they are very, very comfortable (not when damp, of course). I've been knitting lots of not-plain-jane socks lately, and having these simple stockinette stitches to work on soothed my funked-up brain for a few days.

The first Nor'Easter of the season blew through yesterday, along with the remnants of Wilma. All that barometric activity is like an electric charge to my brain, which doesn't know what to do with itself, so it makes its Jane just plain crazy. I pulled books right and left for most of the day, and there are five or six healthy piles ready to be boxed up tomorrow. My hands were aching by the time I got home, but finishing the socks actually made them feel better.

I'm feeling better in general after spending a little time on the phone with my dear friend V. I'll stay with her next week on my way to the Retreat, and she and I will figure out a way to cram months and months of girl-time into less than 24 hours together. We've done it before. We're pros. We're not like J and me, who talk a mile a minute and finish each other's sentences and jump around from thought to thought, like sisters who have known each other forever. V and I do something different with our communicating, something that I can't quite name, but that involves eliminating the small talk and getting right to the essence of things. There we stay, until our time together is ending. We're sisters, too, of the heart.

I am also looking forward to spending a little time in V's studio, which is one of the most wonderful places in the world to me. It is filled with yarn and fleece and looms and wheels and actual work in progress, and it smells wooly and sweet. It's on the second floor of her house, overlooking a steep hill and a creek below. The light is magic. She would say that her studio is nothing more than a mess, but I always fine peace and comfort there.

Now that the Socks That Really Do Rock are done, I'm actually feeling a little aimless. I have another pair on the needles (the Rib and Cable socks that I was working on before I was seduced by the Carbon), and a scarf to finish (the one I will have to Kitchener eventually). There's always the Manos Wildflower Michelin Woman sweater...

Instead, I think I'll go to the PO and see if I have any interesting mail!

What to do, what to do

The KR Retreat is just around the corner. I have major work to do at the store before I leave (returns: you love them or you hate them, but you still have to pull them). My apartment is, well, it's just a mess. My head is in the same state (migraine, migraine go away...). I haven't gotten in touch with the people I need to so that I will have a place to sleep before and after the Retreat. Last week was a hard one, stressful and draining, but it's over now. So?

I don't know what is going on here. Will I pull it all together before the last minute? Yes, of course I will. I feel a bit overwhelmed, and the lurking headache is no help. It, too, will move on.

At least I have been having Knitting Success. The Carbon socks are a blast to knit. I finished one and I'm turning the heel of its mate. This yarn is an absolute joy. It's almost self-striping, with an ikat vibe. I love the way the colors flow. I had a little panic when I read Cara's blog and realized/remembered that there are only 325 yards to a skein of Socks That Rock, which could mean... I won't even think about it. I knit the legs shorter than usual, just in case. I could have measured and divided the yarn, but that would mean I'd have to measure and divide the yarn when I'd rather knit. I'm putting it in the hands of the Yarn Goddesses. I'll post a picture when I get the pair finished.

After the socks, there's a beautiful skein of Brooks Farm Primero waiting for me to find just the right scarf design. I think I'll make one up, with a basketweave thing and maybe a reversible cable on each edge. Either that, or I'll make "Peacock's Pride" from Lavish Lace. I want a take-along project that isn't socks. I'll bring socks, too, of course, but it's all about having choices.

I think I've almost talked myself out of this funk. It's about time. In twelve short days I will be having a wonderful time with NewOld friends!

These socks do rock

Carbon, baby...

I just had to start them. The yarn was calling to me, in a muffled, pleading little voice, from the bottom of the bag. This just might be the nicest sock yarn I've ever worked with -- no wonder it's legendary. The fabric is soft and smooth on US 1 needles, and my gauge is working out to about 8 stitches to the inch. It's not splitty, either. The colors flow without pooling so far (four inches is hardly a good sample) but I won't mind if they do. I'm making a plain pair of socks this time, just because I am loving the knitting with this yarn. Socks That Rock rocks.

~:~:~

Okay, it's meme time:

Ten years ago… I had just begun working at the bookstore, after spending two years working at this and that, living here and there. I’d always loved books, but I had no idea that I’d take to it so quickly, or that my brain was made for this work, or that I would find as much satisfaction in it as I had in weaving and spinning. My home was a little basement apartment, but I spent much of my time at J’s house, helping her run her husband’s landscaping business and hanging out with J and the wonderful babyR’s and their equally wonderful big brother M. I was still in the process of finding my way in the world. My fur companion was little Emma, who’d accompanied me on my long journey to this place by the sea, and made sure I was safe and sound.

Five years ago… I’d become the manager of the Southampton store and had navigated most of the way through a really rocky stretch of road. I’d found a sweet studio apartment close to the store, which I share to this day with my cat Annabelle (who was sent to me, I believe, so that the road would seem less treacherous).

One year ago… I was still basking in the glow of my trip to Italy. It changed and fortified me, and even now I have a deep sense of contentment when I remember that week.

Five snacks… Crisp, crunchy apples; Chocolate; Peanut butter-filled pretzels; Cheese (the sharper the better); A big Starbucks Frappuchino.

Five songs I know all the words to: “Angel from Montgomery” (the Bonnie Raitt version, please); “Boulder to Birmingham” by Emmylou Harris; “Lay Lady Lay” and just about every song on Nashville Skyline; “This Shirt” by Mary-Chapin Carpenter; “You Are My Sunshine”.

Five things I would do with $100 million… Build or buy a house somewhere where I could live forever; ensure that all my nieces and nephews could go to college or start a career; make sure my mom is comfortable and that she doesn’t want for anything; travel, and take my time about it; save some, give the rest away.

Five places to run away to… The ocean (does that count, since it’s practically down the road?);Italy; the movies; my old home in Virginia (hey, I could buy it back with some of that $100 mil!); the Southwest.

Five things I would never wear… High heels; fur; neon anything; a bikini (this is so laughable that it shouldn’t even count); novelty-yarn sweater in any way, shape or form (scarves are okay); lots of flashy diamonds (though one would be nice).

Five Favorite TV shows… Lost (what time is it?); ER (the old ones are the best); I adored the Loretta Young show when I was little; early Masterpiece Theater; House Hunters (so corny it’s good).

Five biggest joys… Knitting, Knitters Review, my dear friends (including Miss Annabelle), my far-flung family, the smell of the ocean.

Five favorite toys… My computer and the internet, my sheepy tape measure, all my knitting and spinning stuff, my Treo 650 PDA/phone/MP3 player; and my digital camera.

Five people to pass this on to… This might be impossible, since I’m so late posting this. Okay. Vi, who counts as all five because she has all those cats and chickens.

Rhinebeck, what else?

What could be better than a double rainbow?

A carload of yarn, fiber, and gabby girls comes close. We had a blast. We had our ups and downs (especially on the Taconic Parkway), our fiber bliss, our meltdowns, and so much fun that it won't fit here. Nobody forgot anything, and the sun had come out by the time we arrived. Perfection.

My fiberly highlights: Socks That Rock yarn, naturally (just wait till you see it, Amie!). Blue Moon Fiber Arts superfine Merino roving, and cashmere/silk roving, too, in perfectly loverly colorways. Tintagel Farm carded wool in a color called "Antique Rose." Brooks Farm Primero in colors that remind me of pansies. Spirit Trail handpainted silk sliver in two lovely colorways, one wood-ish, the other sea-ish.

The absolute best part of my Rhinebeck weekend: meeting Martha and Sheila and Jen at the Spirit Trail booth. I felt like I was having a reunion with Martha, rather than a first hello. My real life collided with my virtual life, and the two managed to get along just fine! I can't wait to have the chance to get to know everyone better at the Retreat. I mean it. I. Can't. Wait. I met some great people, in their booths and in the aisles. I said hello to the Knitting Curmudgeon over Tintagel Farm's bags of luscious wool, and saw just about every possible variation of Birch and Clapotis (it was indeed a Summer of Lace!).

Toni Neil at The Fold is my new favorite person. Not only did she bring enough Socks That Rock to go around, but she remained cheerful throughout the feeding frenzy (I'm not wondering if pharmaceuticals were necessary, but if that had been me...). I found some beautiful, perfect yarn and fibers, which will keep me happy for a long, long time. Or at least until the KR Retreat, that is!

The R's had fun in the frenzy, too. They met the only Suri alpacas at the show, and were invited into the pen to pet the little chestnut-colored one, whose name is Advantage. One R fell in love with a sweet California Red ewe, and the other R was seduced by the yarn goddesses (see photo). They'll both be knitting in no time, and we've got a Knitting Day planned for next month. I think I might even have a bag of Cal Red roving somewhere, which will make a perfect first yarn for that R, who wants to make a pillow. This R is planning to knit a mesh market bag as her first project. She'll do it, too.

~:~

"The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes" -Marcel Proust

I needed Rhinebeck. J and I needed to leave our lives behind for a few hours, and we did. We needed to be inspired by the creativity of others, and we were. We needed to dive into a pile of fiber and only come up for air, and we did. We needed a girly road trip in a car filled with laughter and silliness (most of the time; there were one or two back seat altercations, but nothing serious), and we had it. I spent the day at work today daydreaming about rockin' socks and spinning cashmere/silk and wishing I could just zip home for a little wool fix. Soon, soon.

~:~

I'm tired, though. All that fresh air, you know...I'll have to tackle the RoseByAny challenge tomorrow!

Don't mess with me, now

My Obsession

Okay, okay. I'm a teensy bit excited about Rhinebeck. It's gotten to this point: I have volunteered to drive almost 30 minutes in the opposite direction on Saturday morning to pick up J and the R's just so we can leave really really early.

I figure that it will be a lot easier to dump the girls directly onto the back seat of my car in their sleep and get right on the road than it would be for me to:

1. Wait over at my house for them to stumble sleepily to their mom's car in Sag Harbor, in the dark, possibly forgetting a shoe or a headphone or a toothbrush. [For this example, I am using the R's, but they are their mother's daughters in the never-on-time and I-forgot-something department. I love them all to death, absolutely.]
2. Watch as they discover that there is a missing item or items when they spill out of their car in my driveway in Southampton, sometime after sunrise.
3. Wait while the car is unloaded and its contents searched for the missing item(s), before being reloaded into my car, item(s) or no, because We Must Leave NOW, Women!
4. Risk a speeding ticket on the LIE just because I have this thing about procuring an obscene amount of Socks That Rock sock yarn, and I'm positive that The Fold will sell every last skein before I arrive, breathless, trailing possibly shoeless children, at their booth in Building A.

So, I'm going to drive almost 30 minutes in the opposite direction in order to save at least two hours, as well as my last remaining shreds of sanity. And no, I do not need a Yarn Intervention. This is Rhinebeck. Once a year. I'm in charge.

There's been a little knitting progress hereabouts, but nothing worth showing. I keep picking up one thing and knitting a few rows before putting it down and picking up something else. Supposedly this means that one day all the projects will be finished, but it sure seems more like I'm getting nowhere. Doesn't matter, though, does it? I can get lots of new yarn this weekend and start a whole bunch of new stuff!

Jane Time

It's dark and rainy, and that kind of damp-cold that makes my joints ache and complain. I've been out to do the errandy things, and the never-ending laundry is my only chore. I have DVD's to watch, maybe I'll even take a nap, and this warm red-orange Dulaan hat is on the needles. I'm using a pattern called "Kim's Hats" from Last-Minute Knitted Gifts. It's a basic formula, with variations for size and brim style. When I make things like this I realize that I could have written this pattern myself, because it's nothing really new. I'm just as happy that someone else wrote it out, though, because I don't have to do any thinking. All I have to do is knit, and this knitting is fun and satisfying. I love the color combination of the burnt orange (Patons Classic wool) and the tweedy red (Dale Sisik wool/mohair). It puts me in the mood for...Rhinebeck!

~:~

Thank you for all your comments. You've helped me gain a lot of perspective on this little "crisis." I am so glad to have all five or seven or however many of you visit me here, and I like feeling that I am among friends. I've been painting myself into corners lately, and fussing and fretting a lot -- an old pattern for me. It's always a sign that I need to stop and pay attention to something that I might be avoiding or resisting, or just plain ignoring. Oh, shoot, I just can't get away from myself, can I? At least I have a hat to knit, and I can't run too far away if I'm attached to a ball of yarn.

We do live in two separate worlds here on the Internet, don't we? The line between public and private is blurry, but not invisible. It's really not unlike my daily "real" life. At the bookstore I see friendly customers every day, and we chat about books and the weather and the goings-on in the village. If I see these same people in the grocery store, or at the movies, I tend to want to avoid them. It's not because I'm a grump, but because I'm on Jane Time, not Bookstore Time. I smile and nod or wave, or say hello, and that's it. There are a few customers who I've come to think of as friends, but they number about four out of hundreds, so I think my life is still my own, for the most part. We all juggle our public and private lives, and what really astounds and confounds me is that not only do we do it locally and face to face, we do it globally and virtually as well.

I think I'll keep my virtual world the way it is for now. If someone I know asks to read the blog, then I'll see how I feel about it.

~:~

And speaking of Rhinebeck...It's how I am going to make it through the week. By this time next Sunday we'll be getting in the car to come home, laden with Socks That Rock (and green for Amie?) and fiberfiberfiber, with happy tired feet, and with pictures and memories and who-knows-what-all. When I informed the Delightful R's that we will be leaving really early Saturday morning I got the usual moans and groans. "You mean six o'clock in the morning?" Then they remembered: We're going on a Road Trip! To see Llamas and Alpacas! And get Yarn and Sheepy Stuff! And have a Slumber Party! Okay then, six it is!

Sometimes I wonder

Warning: I have been Contemplating Life. Again. A recent post by Bess, whose blog I love to read, is the cause this time. Don't blame her, though. She's smart and thoughtful, and I thank her.

According to Bloglines, this blog has five subscribers. Just who am I writing for? Them? Myself? The Great Unknown? I am used to writing my personal thoughts for public consumption; all those years in journal class taught me how to trust my heart, dive in, and have faith that I’d be heard. But that was in an intimate setting. I came to know the people who were listening to my words, and I trusted them just as they did me. So who is listening to me now?

Am I writing for those five people and the handful more that stop by here? No, I’d be posting here even if I knew for sure that I was the only reader. This is as good a place as any to write. I started Not Plain Jane because I had knitting things to say, and because knitting is a vital thread in the rest of my world. And it made sense to invite my virtual friends at KR to visit with me, just as I visit them at their blog-houses.

That’s what I like to think, anyway. I don’t tend to share really personal stuff, because none of you know me and I don’t think I could begin to tell you my story (not that it’s dramatic or anything) without driving you away in a miniature drove. I’ll add stuff to put things in context, the same way I would if we were getting to know each other at, say, a knitting group. But dumping the whole pile at your feet? I wouldn’t dream of it.

The whole virtual world is welcome here, but not the real people who matter to me. What is that about? I’ve given my blog address to exactly one person who knows me in real life. I’m not even sure K reads it. I wouldn’t mind if he didn’t, but of course I hope he does. I don’t invite most of the people I know to read my private journal, so why would I invite them here? The difference between the writing I do in my little red leather book and here at the keyboard is becoming clearer. This is not private. This is the opposite of private. It is not, however, the opposite of personal. Everything is personal. The internet is a surprisingly intimate space after all. Weird, huh?

Some people know I have a blog. I tell them that much, but I don’t offer to share it with them. I pretend it is too risky, or something. The insincerity and arrogance of that attitude has just smacked me on the side of the head. “I write a public blog (read by at least five people!), but you aren’t invited to read it.” Who do I think I am, anyway? I’m going to go try and get over myself now.

~:~:~

I'm still at knitting loose ends. No wonder -- I am unfocused and work is hectic and my brain short-circuits every time the weather changes, which is often. I made another hat for Dulaan, and I am still slow-poking my way to the end of a sock, so at least that's something.

~:~:~

To thank you for reading this whole durn post, here is a picture from our last morning in Italy. Florence is down there somewhere, seen from our hotel in Fiesole:

It was a long week

I think I missed some of it. There were seven days, weren't there?

My knitting is all at sixes and sevens. I decided to try to get something finished, like maybe a sock. It would help if I actually worked on one. So this morning I picked up the frogged Go With the Flow sock and began to re-knit the heel. I'm almost finished with the gusset now, and it feels good to be making progress on something. This is the finished one, waiting for its mate.

I made a little progress on the Rib and Cable sock, but not much beyond this photograph. It's a nice pattern, and interesting to knit. There are a few variations on the basic sock formula that I'm enjoying. The toe, if I ever get there, looks really neat. I got my copy of Nancy Bush's Knitting Vintage Socks, too, and I think I'll be knitting out of it for a long time to come.

That scarf I took with me on my trip is an easy knit, brainless and good for travel. The yarn though, is filled with knots. Why didn't I pay attention to them when I was balling the skein? It's superwash merino, too, so I can't spit splice it with any consistency. Oh, well. That will teach me!

I finally photographed the cardigan I made last September. It's "Herdis" from Elspeth Lavold's first collection. [Edited on 10/8 to correct the crappy image that I posted the first time.]At the time it was the most complicated thing I'd ever undertaken, but as I got going it wasn't hard at all. If I had it to do all over again, I'd go down a needle size. I got gauge, but the fabric has a lot of give and it seems to grow when I wear it. Re-blocking didn't change it much. I still love it, and it represents a major knitting accomplishment.

~:~:~

Rhinebeck, Rhinebeck, Rhinebeck! It's coming! Soon! Ohboyohboyohboy! My list is growing, the money is set aside, the car is clean and ready for guest travelers. J and the wonderful R's and I haven't made our final plans yet, but I already know that I'm going to convince them that we need to leave here at the crack of dawn on Saturday. None of this moseying on over to my house whenever, not this year! I have booths to visit, people to meet, and money to spend. Yes, I am geeky enough to have begun to make a list of which vendor is where, so that I won't miss the ones I want to visit. And yes, I am planning to show up at the Spirit Trail booth, probably more than once! I'm a little excited, can you tell? I really need a fiber fix.

And if it's October, it must be time to make serious Retreat plans! I didn't make it to the PO this week, but I hear that our Retreat packets have begun arriving in mailboxes. I'll have to be patient until Wednesday, when I can go get the mail. The KR Retreat following so close on the heels of Rhinebeck makes my head spin. Since I'm turning it into a week, not a weekend, I have lots of things to do beforehand. I'll be making the rounds of family and friends in the DC area, with a final stop on Sunday (I think) at K's house on the Eastern Shore.

~:~:~

I'd like to be doing this:

Unfortunately, I have to tackle this:It ain't pretty.