Just who am I, anyway?

What a surprise, finding myself a Blogger Blog of Note today! I'm honored, but slightly uncomfortable. Yes, this is a public space, and yes, many anonymous readers stop by ... but somehow, anyway, right now, I feel a little exposed.

You see, I think of myself as a knitblogger. I'm part of a large and wonderful community of people who share my passion, and I'm blessed to have made many friends, both real and virtual, in this relatively small corner of the big old internet. But here, today, the doors have been flung wide open!

My blog and my life seem to be defined by what is going on right now -- cancer treatment and navigating the strange terrain of it, and getting on with it -- but when I seek to define myself cancer isn't at the top of the list.

So: I'm a knitter. I'm a spinner. I've made many pairs of socks, and whatever else that has inspired me. I love yarn. I design knitting patterns once in a while. I'm a bookseller, too. I live with that cat, in a little apartment near the Atlantic Ocean. I go to the water as often as I can, to refill and be and look out at the horizon. I'm a middle child. Sure, I have cancer. I also have a good life that's on the way to getting better.

There. I feel better now. Welcome everyone!

Little question

You'd think I could have nipped this little habit in the bud, but of course I failed. She knows who's in charge.

There is little question that I have been away from this space for too long. I want to do something about that. I miss it. Now that my world is about to open up again -- yes, I am finished with chemotherapy! -- I hope to find myself knitting more, and living life, and writing about it again.

I'm still processing what it means to have successfully navigated these past five and a half months. It will be a while before I do, and for now the good old slow and steady approach still serves. I feel cautious about everything -- but happy, definitely happy. I did it!

If only winter were not so relentless! I want sunshine! I want bright blue skies! Instead, it's been snowing this morning, and rain is on the way. There's been ice and snow on the ground forever, and the gray of the sky and the ground and everything in between doesn't help. I'm tired enough that I slog through each day anyway, and having to add a trudge over leftover snow in colorless light and landscape is just too much, don't you think?

I'm knitting away on little things, but nothing is worth showing yet. I started a Whimsy Lace Scarf just like Rosi's (because hers is an inspiration) with Hand Maiden Mini Maiden (just like Rosi) in "Paris." It's a wonderful pattern with lots of short rows, so it's fun to knit. I love the yarn, too. There are socks, of course. And I feel some mitts coming on.

There'll be time for all of it, but ...

... just now, I think Annabelle has the right idea!

2008

What I Let Go Of In 2008

1. My hair.
2. Most of my comfort zones.
   
3. Getting up early every morning.
4. A clean house.
5. Pants that fit right.
6. The ABC-Along, after the letter J.
7. Sleeping curled up on my stomach.
8. A ten-hour work day.
9. Reading books that require an attention span.
10. Doing almost anything that requires an attention span.
11. Spontaneity and some of my independence.
12. Living beyond this moment.

What I Found In 2008

1. Endometrial cancer.
2. Open eyes and heart.
3. The benefits of patience.
4. Dr. Michael Pearl.
5. The blessings and kindness of an army of knitters.
6. That there is always good news somewhere.
7. Compazine.
8. Love and care from my friends.
9. Chocolate milk.
10. New ways to trust.
11. Precious times with my sisters and nieces.
12. Acceptance of most everything that has come my way.

Thank you all for making this strange, powerful journey with me. You're wise and wonderful, every single one of you.
May 2009 be filled with hope and health for all of us!

Still here

I grew something.

What else I have been up to: A little knitting (gifts), working at the bookstore (as often as I can), resting (more often these days), having tests and scans and chemotherapy (good results), preparing for a minimalist Christmas (I've taken "keep it simple" to a new level), and watching my collection of holiday movies (I never tire of "Meet Me in St. Louis," "Love Actually," and "Christmas in Connecticut").

Next week, in between Christmas and New Year's Day, I'll be treated to a visit from my nieces Amy and Sophie. They're coming to stay with me during my next round of chemo (what a thrill, eh?). I haven't seen them in forever!
~:~
With best wishes and blessings and peace to all of you on this Christmas Eve --
Love, Jane