Just a step at a time

That's all I can do, and that's all that it takes. I will be learning this lesson well into my next twelve lives, I suppose. Here's my thought: all this knitting dissatisfaction, all these balls of yarn attached to little bits of random knitting, all these needles stuck in big blobs of knitting, are a sign. The sign says Settle Down. I have been careening again.

I have no pictures of knitting progress to share, because there hasn't been any progress. Well, I do have the cuff of a Jaywalker sock, looking good so far in Koigu on 2.5mm needles. But no picture. I have one finished washcloth, which might end up being mine because all of a sudden I have an urge to knit with hemp, and I think hemp might make a spectacular washcloth. Linen would work, too. I have no hemp, and no linen either. Oh, dear, it looks like I'll have to drive to the North Fork and see if the yarn shop has some (of course I could call and inquire, but that would be sensible, and I need a yarn shop fix anyway). If not, I'll order it this afternoon.

See where this is going? All over the place, that's where. And in the car, too.

I will declare right here that this is what I want to do:

• Finish V's other sock (I'm almost to the heel flap). She deserves to have toasty toes while she's feeding her chickens on cold winter mornings.
• Keep Jaywalking, because I want to get to the point where I can tell if this one will fit. If it doesn't, I'll make some more adjustments.
• Swatch some Manos for a revised Wildflower sweater. V-neck pullover, raglan or drop shoulder. Whichever. That yarn is beginning to bug me to do something with it, something besides the lumpy sweater I started in the spring.
• Start spinning some of the delicious fibers I purchased this year. Spinning gives me knitting ideas, anyway. I have no grand plans for any of it yet; it needs to be explored first. And wouldn't it be lovely to explore it on a Real Rick Reeves wheel? Oh no, not that again! Save that wish for the New Year!
• Knit mindlessly. If I go with this washcloth idea, in hemp or not, I only need to make four of them. That's just a few DVD's worth of knitting, tops.

This is what I do not want to do:

• Fuss or fret over anything Knitting. I have enough Life and Work stuff to fuss and fret over.
• Attempt to do any Christmas knitting that is not as simple as a washcloth or a scarf. Even the scarf option is dangerous.

~:~

I have some emails to write to some knitting friends who have been patient for too long, but I have a problem:

She's as good an excuse as any, I suppose. Really, there's no excuse. I'm typing now, aren't I, even though I keep having to shove a rather large head out of my way? I would like those knitting friends to know that I love them, and that I'll tell them so real soon.

~:~

P.S. I just visited Margene's blog and what do you think she has to say today?

"Use knitting time as a way of reconnecting with yourself and to find quiet,
contemplative time during this season of mania. Be good to you!"

All righty, then!

Is it over yet?

Well, it is for me. I have the day off. I was tempted to get out there and do some shopping, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm not talking about Christmas shopping -- I need the basics, like TP and coffee. I don't do the CrazedHolidayShopper thing anyway. Since I spend most of my time on the receiving end of the craziness, I have developed some very strong opinions about people who seem to enjoy being herded and manipulated by the Christmas Shopping Machine.

Thanksgiving weekend shopping at the bookstore has a very different vibe. Yes, it's very crowded. Yes, there are a few crabby, unhappy people (most of them are overindulged children). For the most part, it is a pleasure to watch customers browse and discover that perfect book for someone they love, or to help them narrow down their choices. I love to hear that we are the Best Bookstore, that we are the Most Knowledgeable Staff, and that we Always Have the Book They Need. It's all true, and it can't be said about Amazon, or B&N, or anybody else except another independent bookstore. You'll never hear a little boy walk into B&N and declare, "Do you smell that smell? It's books that haven't been read yet!" Oh, I do love my work.

~:~

Gobble, gobble.

I have no Thanksgiving pictures worth sharing, except this silly plate of appetizers. We cooked and cooked, and timed and retimed, and when the turkey had to go back in the oven for another hour because I miscalculated something, J and I accepted defeat. I went downstairs for a little cry, she washed some dishes, and nothing was the same after that. Dinner, when it finally happened, was delicious. But we were done. Done in. Over it. Ready to move on.

~:~

Knitting? Something has gone wrong there, too. I have been too tired to do anything satisfying or right. My Jaywalker sock had to be frogged (it would have fit someone, just not me). My scarf in Brooks Farm yarn that looks like pansies went the way of the sock (it just didn't thrill me), and I haven't found the right stitch or pattern yet. I started another Jaywalker in Koigu KPPPM, on larger needles, to see if that will make a difference. I decided to make washcloths for all the women at work, and I have some lovely little soaps to go with them, so I started one of those. That's working out -- mindless knitting is what I need right now, since I think I lost my mind this week.

So today, lovely quiet day that it promises to be, I will rest and refill the well. I'll knit mindlessly, watch movies, do some laundry, and that's that. I have a busy month ahead of me, and I need a day like this.

Oh, and I can't forget to say this: I am a grateful woman. I have a job that I love, a sweet little home shared with a sweet fur person, dear family and old friends, precious-beyond-measure new friends, knitting that saves me, and the prospect of being able to say this again next year. The Thanksgiving holiday is a bittersweet one for me, but I know that the bits and bouts of sadness that I feel mean that I've lived to tell the tale, and that's got to be a good thing.

Girls Knit

Well, they're on their way. The first R loves her handspun yarn, and thought she'd invented a new way to knit. She was disappointed when I told her that she was knitting Continental, but I was pretty impressed, since I'd showed her American! The second R kept measuring and measuring. Three inches just didn't seem right, but that's a lot, considering all the fun and silliness that went on around the table. By the end of the afternoon (long after dark, really) they were tired, but happy and proud. Me, too.

Spun, plied, washed, dried...

...and finished just in time for Girls' Knitting Afternoon! I think the R will like it, too. The other R will get some handspun from me sooner or later, when I am inspired by something she would like. Everything must balance in the world of twins, you know, especially when you're the Auntie to two Incredible R's.

I stuck the little ribbed top of my Jaywalker sock in the picture, just because. I can hardly say I've started, but I do have this much to show. I love this color, this Moss Agate that's all green and purple and best of all deep golden orange. I'd like enough of it for a sweater, please.

I don't know what this Knitting Afternoon will hold, beyond the fun, that is. I am going to teach the R's to knit, and it seems like just yesterday -- not twelve years ago -- that I was knitting two little lace hats for Baby A and Baby B in anticipation of their arrival.

~:~

I went out early to get apples and cheese and most of the other do-dads I'll need for my part of the Thanksgiving dinner. I spend the day with J and her family, since I can't usually get away to be with my own family, and J and I cook and chatter all day. I've added some of my own traditions to the gathering -- we use my grandmother's white linen tablecloth, and make my mother's cranberry relish, and until this year, my mother has made the trip up here from Maryland. She's not able to do that any more. I used to stress about her visits (oh, the story is a loooong one), but not having her here now just makes me sad. I'll need the laughter and the cooking and the knitting-while-the-turkey-cooks (because you can be sure we'll want to get in a little practice!).

~:~

It's time to pack up the yarn and the needles and the books and the camera. Off I go!