Two birthdays

Sunset • Long Beach • Sag Harbor • 4/24/11

The first is the one my mother gave me, fifty-six years ago today. The second is the one made possible by Dr. Pearl, some very powerful medicine, and my own perseverance: two years of No Cancer. My birthdays share the same week, and almost the same day, so it makes sense that I've spent this week pondering.

I've been thinking about my mom, and all the birthdays she made so special for me, and for my whole family. Her cakes are legendary. I asked Judy to make me a lemon cake for my birthday dinner on Sunday, and she did, and it was amazing. There was also a BookHampton cake on Monday, with candles and everything. I'm so fortunate to have good friends who are also my family.

I've been thinking about Dr. Pearl, too, and all the people who made my second birthday possible. I'm grateful and lucky and still in awe of his artful doctoring (with a nod to my own fortitude). I've said it before, but it bears repeating: his art and my magic are a powerful combination.

I want to celebrate my two birthdays for years and years to come, so I promise myself that I will wake up every morning and make my life better — somehow, in some small way. Happy birthdays to me.

Not my cat

I'm looking after Robbie this week, while my landlords are away. He is exceptionally cute and squishy and silly. He spends his time waiting for voles, or lounging on the deck, or peering in my door. When he visits he is a gentleman, polite and not too nosy.

Robbie has also opened my eyes: I need a cat. I miss warm fur. I miss having a little soul to care for and talk to. I miss purrs and mews. I miss having a creature winding around my feet as I work in the kitchen. I miss having a reason to go home, and I miss the love. Soon, soon.

Soon.

Third time's the charm

When it was time to cast off the last stitch of my third Multnomah, I knew I was ready to move on. I love this pattern, though, and I know I'll make it again. And knitting with the beautiful Spirit Trail Nona — a blend of merino wool, cashmere, and bombyx silk — was like a dream. The color is a special one that Jen dyed just for me.

Today has been lovely and warm —a day to spend time in the sun — but I almost wish it was chilly enough to wrap this little shawl around my neck!

Sometimes old knitting comes back into your life. Sometimes it's welcome, sometimes it's something you hoped you'd never see again. This blanket fits into the first category. I made it for my niece, so long ago that I don't remember when. I recognize some of the yarn, but not all. It needed some repair, because it turns out that she loves it and uses it every day, so she brought it to me when we were together last month.

See the leaf in the middle? I knit two, one for the front and one for the back. I positioned them over the hole, which was pretty shredded, and sewed them together. I think it works! I mailed it to her the other day, and I can't wait to hear what she thinks.

I've moved on to other projects — right now it's a simple ribbed hat for a gift, using some Bijou Spun Himalayan Trail, which is yak and a little merino. Then I might get back to my cardigan. Or not. Whatever I have on the needles, it's keeping me sane.

Repetitive

String Theory Caper Sock "Oban"

At first, I was going to make just one Multnomah. I needed to knit something that was simple, soothing, and that made sense. Most of all, it had to help me as Annabelle was leaving. I knit and knit, with my little cat by my side. Before long it was finished, and it helped dry my tears.

Sundara Sock "Through the Woods"

Then I needed travel knitting as I went to see my mom, so I worked on some Hedgerow socks for my friend Reya. I'm still working on them. Somewhere in there I worked on an Allegan Cardigan from The Knitter's Book of Wool, but that's another story.

Sundara FSM "Beach Pebbles"

And then... I didn't know what to do when my mother died. One day, when my sisters and I were discussing ways we could "represent" our mom at the memorial service, we talked about her favorite colors. She loved blues and purples and the color that Crayola calls Periwinkle. We decided to wear a color that Gig would like, so it came to me — another Multnomah. I had the right yarn (it was already being made into this, but I frogged it without hesitation) and I had enough time (about ten days).

I loved every minute that I spent knitting. Again, it soothed me, gave me focus, and helped me to feel like I was doing something. On the day of the memorial, it felt so good to wear the little shawl that I'd made, along with my mother's pearl necklace.

I'm very grateful for Sundara and her artful colors. More than once — many times — she has created a color that becomes part of my story. My mother would have loved this Beach Pebbles Multnomah, too.

What am I working on now? I needed a project to take with me on my journey to the service and the wonderful visit I had with my family. It begins with an M and ends with an H...